Clash Near Policoro

A Headless Body production.

Location: Phils Basement

Players: Phil Gardocki, Canadian Armoured Squadron (defender)

Ed Bernhardt German I/501st Schwere Panzer Kompanie (attacker)

Game: Flames of War Mid War 1750 points

Mission: Cauldron

The Forces:

Monty’s Pythons: (Confident, Trained) "Monty’s Pythons", the 2nd Squadron, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment, 1st Canadian Armoured Brigade

10 Shermans, in 2 Troops of 3 tanks each. 1 recon Troop of 3 Stuarts, One battery of 4 Priests, lead by Brigadier “Pip” Roberts <queue fanfare>.

German (Confident, Veteran) 1^st Kompanie, 501^st Schwere Panzerabteilung. 

3 Tigers, 2 Panzer III(n)’s in two Platoons, 1 Platoon 5 of Fallschirmjagers (Fearless Veteran), Air Support.

Mission: Cauldron. Delayed Reserves, German side places two objectives.  Winner is declared when any objective is held by the opposing side after turn 6.

The Board:

4 by 6 feet. 

The main road is Jonica Highway, near the shoreline in the arch of the boot of Italy.  A tree lined dirt road leads to scenic Canna.  Winter seems to have come early here as the snow covered forest dominates the center of the map.



The Larch

Deployment

Both sides started with half of their platoons on the board.  I opted for the Priest Battery deployed in a large vineyard, and a Troop of Shermans near the center woods.  The German started with ony 1 Platoon, and deployed a Tiger and a Panzer III on the dirt road leading to Canna. His CIC Tiger was deployed in the combined piece of terrain pictured below, on the edge of the board.



General, “Pip” Roberts started the briefing.

“Gentlemen, we are in the final leg of this dash to save our boys trapped in Taranto.  We have faced heavy resistance, equipment breakdowns, and misleading road signs.”

Lieutenant Cleese interrupted, “They’re all posted in Italian, bloody wogs, how is anyone supposed to find their way around here.”

General Roberts continued, “Be that as it may, we are now on the correct road, with the Mediterranean on our right, it will be hard to get lost again.  We have experienced heavy losses, but I have managed to replace our lost reconnaissance troop with Dennis Moore’s Troop.”

Catcalls erupted from the company, interjected with shouts of, “That Commie!” and “Lupins.”

“Calm down men, he may be a godless-pinko-card-carrying-communist, but he is OUR godless-pinko-card-carrying-communist and I am confident he will do well.”

“Now thanks to the efforts of Bicycle Repairman."

"Our hero!" chorused the company.

"Troops ‘A’ and ‘B’ are now fully operational, but only at the expense of Troop ‘C’, which sadly remains in a shamble.  Troop ‘D’, is still engaged with in a hard fight at the Anthrax wine bottling plant.  Their last letter was barely legible and looked soaked in blood, but our mission is paramount, we have to connect with our paratroopers in Taranto.  If Lieutenant Gillian’s troop survives, I see the Victoria Cross on them all.”

 “Lastly, I also managed to transfer a battery of Priests to our company, I am sure they will give what for to Jerry.”

“Now, I yield the floor to Captain Palen.”

Captain Palin stood up, “Now you may be asking yourselves why you have been issued these tank recognition flash cards.  This is because the boffins at High Command has decided that we have not in fact been trading shots with a company of Tiger Tanks."  He continued, "I quote.  The unit you claim to have fought on September 12 and 13, 1943, cannot be the elements of the 501st Heavy Panzer Battalion, as that unit was destroyed in Tunisia.  Intelligence assures us that there are no Tiger Tanks anywhere in the Italian Peninsula. The presented evidence of prisoners from that unit were simply escapees from the 501st that managed to swim across Mediterranean on telephone poles.  The photographs presented are simply grainy images of swamp gas, and the piece of 4" thick armor plate bearing the number 501 was carried here by migrating fauna, probably sparrows.  End quote."

"So, from now on, when we see an enemy tank, the number one priority is to get an accurate ID of it.  When you are being shot at by an enemy tank, you must first find the card that most closely matches what is shooting at you, then hunker down and start shooting back.  Is that clear?"

The officers were in mid salute when the first shells came in, shaking the ground and obliterating the "Yes, Sir!" on their lips.  The air took on a festive atmosphere as tank recognition flash cards went flying through the air, while they ran for their tanks to fight another day.  



The Larch



This grainy image is actually swamp gas, and does not show the I/501 Commander's Tiger Tank.



The single German Platoon deploys along the dirt road to Canna.

Priests deployed in a vineyard, all more than 3 inches apart.  The command team including General Pip Roberts <queue fanfare> is in the upper right.

Turn 1:

     I tried to take advanatge of my numbers by swamping the German Platoon with only 1 Tiger and 1 Panzer III, while smoking the German CIC.

Troop 'A' moves out to charge the German tank platoon along the tree line.  The command team will follow.

Since there is no percentage in hitting the Tiger frontally, the Shermans smoke it instead.



While the Priests fire smoke at the swamp gas.



The Luftwaffe shows up, but can only get one target under the template, which they miss.

 Turn 2:

Troop 'A' had one Sherman killed, and I realized between the line of trees on one side and a "slow going" field on the other, I was never going to get the flank I needed to kill the Tiger, so I decided to switch targets against the German CIC instead.




Troop 'A' charges the German CIC.

 

While the command teams go for the flank.



Another strafing run by the Luftwaffe.



In what will become a game winning move, another German Platoon arrives from reserves.

================================================================================

                                                        THE MIDDLE OF THE FILM....

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Turn 3:

     Despite the smoke, the Tigers had managed to destroy Troop 'A'.  The German CIC retreated to a position to make its flanks unassailable.

Quiet, Quiet, Quiet, Stealth, Stealth, Stealth.



Another strafing run by the Luftwaffe.



 Turn 4

Troop 'B' arrives from reserves, 3 flank shots but no hits.

While the Command Teams run and hide from the other Tiger on the road (off the top edge)

The fearless Fallshrimjagers arrive from reserves.  They sneak through the trees and take a Sherman completely by surprise!  But while the target is surprised, his two troop mates are not, and get 7 shots on the assaulting Fallshrimjagers.

Oh Canada!  The Fallshrimjagers are pinned and fall back, two are killed.

The first German Tank Platoon moves on unmolested.  There are so many dead Shermans spewing smoke in front of him that adding more smoke wouldn't matter.

While the second German Panzer Platoon heads for the objective.  Remember the objective?  This game is about the objectives.

 Turn 5:

     While Troop 'B' continues to fire at the German CIC, gaining only a bail, the command teams pick up the Fallshrimjagers.



More smoke fired at the 1st German Panzer Platoon.



And the bailed German Company Commander.

The Luftwaffe makes another appearance to no effect.

 Turn 6:

       The last reserves arrive, Dennis Moore's Troop of Stuarts. They line on the flank of the Panzer III, but fail to harm it.

The German 1st Platoon peeks around the corner of the woods, and nails a Sherman.

The Luftwaffe kills Captain Palen's Sherman.  The German CIC, survives a double bail from the flank.



Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
 Driving through the sward
 Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
 On his Stuart Concorde!



The German CIC remounts, retreats, and kills a Sherman.

The Larch.

 Turn 8:

Wait a minute.  We look at the clock and realize we are only an hour and 45 minutes into this game, and wasn't their a victory condition somewhere?  Shuffle through the book.  Oh, if the Germans are on the objective on turn 6, (they were) and the Canadians are not with 16" of the objective, (they weren't), then the swamp gas won! 

The Second Skirmish Along the Via Giardini

With this posting I will hit my 3,000 page view on this blog.  Of course I owe this volume by tapping an insignificant percentage of the billions of page views from the WWPD site.  But considering my other Blogs have no more than 110 page views, this is a heady number.

I have a favor to ask.  If you really like these missives, the format, humor, or lack thereof, the attempt at historical references, let me know once in a while.  It's easier to stay motivated to write knowing someone appreciates it.  Of course, if you are tired of Monty Python quotes taken out of context, mispelled german words, or I mix up which is Troop 'A' and 'B' in the missives, let me know also.  I reedit these things all the time.

A Headless Body production.

Location: Phils Basement

Players: Phil Gardocki, Canadian Armored Squadron (attacker)

Ed Bernhardt German Schewere Panzer Kompanie (defender)

Game: Flames of War Mid War 1750 points

Mission: Surrounded

The Forces:

Monty’s Pythons: (Confident, Trained) "Monty’s Pythons", the 2nd Squadron, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment, 1st Canadian Armoured Brigade

13 Shermans, in 3 Troops of 3 tanks each. 1 recon Troop of 3 Stuarts, lead by Brigadier “Pip” Roberts.

German (Confident, Veteran) 1^st Kompanie, 501^st Schewere Panzerabteilung. 

3 Tigers, 2 Panzer III(n)’s in two Platoons, 1 Platoon 5 of Fallschirmjagers (Fearless Veteran), air Support.

Mission: Surrounded, German is defending.  Canadian places two objectives.  Winner is declared when the objective is taken by the Canadians. (or proven impossible) 

The Board:

4 by 6 feet. Representing the scenic road Via Giardini, The four corners each have hills with vineyards and orchards.  A stream bisects the left and right flanks.  Scattered crop fields and buildings litter the landscape.  Overall, good tank country (if you are a Tiger) as most of the middle of the board is effectively “clear.”

For this round, we will be playing from the narrow edges of the board.

Deployment:

The 1^st Canadian is supporting Operation Slapstick, a quick run from the toe of the boot of Italy to the heel port of Taranto, which was offered to the Allies and invested by a sea landing by the 1^st British Airborne Division. 

In their first encounter, the Canadians suckered the Germans out of position, and double timed their Reconnaissance Troop to the far objective, gaining a cheap win.  Now the problems start, as the undefeated Germans are now surrounded with clear visibility all round.

Both sides started with all their platoons on board.  The Germans occupied the area around the bridge of Via Giardini.  The Canadians started with one Sherman Troop on right, the remaining forces on the left.

For those who are not into the story, you could skip about a 1 page down to get to the proper Batrep. 

======================================================

Brigadier General Pip Roberts took the podium.

“Be seated.”

“Yesterday, we soundly thumped Jerry and today, we have him exactly where he wants us.”

<Confused looks all round>

“His forces have been reduced and he is trapped in an area with minimal cover.  Troop ‘A’ will distract him into covering the first objective. While Troops ‘B’, ‘C’, and ‘D’, using the cover of the vineyards, will charge, then swing left and secure the second objective.  Is that understood?”

“Sir, Troop ‘D’ is absent, sir!” reported Captain Palin.

“WHAT, Why?” roared Brigadier General Pip Roberts.

“They sent a note sir!” continued Captain Palin.  “It reads.  Germans have captured Subaltern Galahad and is holding him captive at the Anthrax wine bottling plant, using own initiative, we will face the peril and rescue him.  Message ends”

Lieutenant Jones added, “It’s a good thing Bicycle Repair Man came last night and fixed the damaged tanks of Troop ‘A’, or we would be much worse off!”

The collected officers swooned, “Our Hero.”

“Captain Palen, how is it going with the air support?”

“Not even a clever sheep is available, sir!”

Limited Air Support (5 dice)  50 points

Sporadic Air Support (3 dice) 30 points

Clever Sheep     

Aircraft                 Weapon               To-Hit    Anti-Tank            Firepower           Notes

Bovine IId            Patty                     5+           1+                        7+                      Teams hit make Motivation check or must exit the template.

======================================================



Troop 'A' took up the right flank hiding in an orchard.  Visibility 16"

Turn 1
Troops 'B', 'C', and the Reconnaissance Troop started spread out over the left flank.  Liberally applying smoke to all Germans in range.



Troop 'C' is in the foreground, Troop 'B' in the distance.  The command staff and reconnaissance troop are in the center.



Turn 1 German deployment.  Units on the left are smoked, not on fire.



The Germans stand pat with no return fire.

Orchards are not woods, so Troop 'A' is clearly visible to the Luftwaffe, which nails one Sherman.

Turn 2 
Monty's Pythons continue to advance, smoking the Germans as they go.  The near objective is defended by a 5 team Fallschirmjager platoon.  That is where the hammer is going to fall.



The Command staff and Recon troop continue to approach.  The Fallschirmjagers, are in the upper left side.  Not being seen is Troop 'B' in the vineyard. 



Troop 'C' is having issues, as one Sherman bogs, and the another bails from aircraft.

The Command Staff loses their expendable tank to an 88.

 Turn 3


Pounce!  The Stuarts leap on a single team of the Fallschirmjagers, killing it, and forcing them to retreat, and securing the objective.




The Luftwaffe returns to Troop 'A', but with only one plane which rerolls hits, fail to score.



But the Tigers are dynamite, and Lieutenant Idle riding "Sir Robin" did not get to "Bravely run away" this time.  The objective is contested again.  But Troop 'B' is now available to try again next turn.



The Luftwaffe returns to Troop 'A' and picks off another Sherman.  Being "Woodsman", the remaining tank perseveres and remains in place.

Troop 'B' shoots, killing 1, then assaults the Fallschirmjagers , killing another.  The Fallschirmjagers pass motivation and counterattack.  Having no antitank weapons, they score a hit, but fail to penetrate the armor of the Shermans.  But it was enough, as Troop 'B' failed its motivation check, and retreats undamaged.

 


The Fallschirmjagers expand their position, contesting the objective again.



Troop 'B' shoots and assaults again.  One Sherman bogs.  Once again, despite having no viable antitank weapons, the Fallschrimjagers pass motivation, while Troop 'B' fails.  This time the last Fallschrimjager team captures a Sherman.

Troop 'C' is not fairing much better.  One Sherman bogged and remained so the rest of the game.  (Its harvest time, and she looked so lonely stomping on those grapes by herself.)  The Luftwaffe, in their 4th appearance, nails another Sherman.

All the while, the Germans were advancing their Tigers, till they were now sitting on the objective.  At this time, the Tiger to Sherman ratio was 3 - 4, and we called it a German win. 

Skirmish Along the Via Giardini

A Headless Body production.

Location: Phil's Basement

Players: Phil Gardocki, Canadian Armored Squadron (attacker)

Ed Bernhardt German Schwere Panzer Kompanie (defender)

Game: Flames of War Mid War 1750 points

Mission: Encounter

The Forces:

Monty’s Pythons: (Confident, Trained) "Monty’s Pythons", the 2nd Squadron, 12th "Three Rivers” Regiment, 1st Canadian Armoured Brigade

13 Shermans, in 3 Troops of 3 tanks each. 1 recon Troop of 3 Stuarts, lead by Brigadier “Pip” Roberts <queue fanfare>.

German (Confident, Veteran) 1^st Kompanie, 501^st Schwere Panzerabteilung. 

3 Tigers, 2 Panzer III(n)’s in two Platoons, 1 Platoon 5 of Fallschirmjagers (Fearless Veteran).

Mission: Encounter. Delayed Scattered Reserves, Each side places two objectives.  Winner is declared when any objective is held by the opposing side. 

The Board:

4 by 6 feet. Representing the scenic road Via Giardini, The four corners each have hills with vineyards and orchards.  A stream bisects the left and right flanks.  Scattered crop fields and buildings litter the landscape.  Overall, good tank country (if you are a Tiger) as most of the middle of the board is effectively “clear.”

Scenic Via Giardini.  Fairly symetrical board with little cover in the middle.

German side, "Right" flank, hedges emulating orchards

Deployment:

The 1^st Canadian Armoured Brigade is supporting Operation Slapstick, a quick run from the toe of the boot of Italy to the heel port of Taranto, which was offered to the Allies and invested by a sea landing of the 1^st British Airborne Division.

Both sides started with half their platoons on board.  The Germans picked the Tiger Platoon consisting of 1 Tiger and an escorting Panzer III(n) and his commander in a Tiger.  One on each side of the stream to cover the objectives.

Monty’s Pythons started two tank troops of 3 Shermans, and deployed on the right flank, in theory presenting a 10-1 advantage over the single Tiger defending the objective.  But with a range of 40” and little cover, the other Tiger will certainly be a factor in this charge.

For those who are not into the story, you could skip about 2 pages down to get to the proper Batrep. 

Captain Palin started the briefing, “Right, …”

“I’ll take over captain.”

“Brigadier General Pip Roberts!” exclaimed Captain Palin!  <queue fanfare music>

“Oh god,” muttered Lieutenant Cleese.

“I am Brigadier General Pip Roberts.” <queue fanfare music> “I will be leading this charge.  You all know about the Top Secret plans, that allowed us to sneak into Taranto, well the 1st Airborne was boated in there and it is how absolutely vital we reach them."

General Roberts continued, “Alright, we all know how bloody stupid for us to charge a bunch of Tiger tanks across an open field, so the artillery will smoke in Jerry while we wheedle up on his flank!”

“We don’t have any artillery, Sir!” chimed in Captain Palin.

“What happened to it?” asked General Roberts.

“Never got it sir!  All our equipment was cast off from British 1^st Tank Division, and there was no artillery among it.”

“Right then, we will lead with the engineers, and they will sneak forward under the cover of night and…”

“Sir, we have no engineers, sir!”

“Where are they?”

“They got themselves transferred to 4^th Armoured after they were decimated assaulting the 326^th Infantry Division Sir!”

“Right, then we’ll get the Typhoons to.”

“Out of range, Sir!”

“Anti-aircraft?” 

“Just the 2 pounders sir.”

“Right, we’ll charge the Tigers, catching them by surprise, just like when Eton took on Leys, we will jink left, then right, then roar right up to him.”

“I don’t think Leys had 88mm guns at that game.”

“One thing sir?”

“Yes Lieutenant ?”

“Chapman sir.  What are we going to charge with?  You see, all we have are these broken Shermans that 1^st Tank gave us, and our mechanics still haven’t crossed over from Messina yet.” 

“If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!” cried Lieutenant Jones.

“Yes, he would know what to do.” added Lieutenant Idle.

Voiceover:  "Brigadier General Pip Roberts man is no ordinary man. To all appearances, he looks like any other over-bred pompous British Aristocrat. But Brigadier General Pip Roberts has a secret identity. When trouble strikes at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICYCLE REPAIR MAN!"

Brigadier General Pip Roberts was deep in thought, “Hmmmmm. This sounds like a job for... Bicycle Repair Man. But how to change without revealing my secret identity?”  He then cleared his throat, and said in his commanding voice, “Wait, I think I know where I can find him. Look over there!”

And everyone looked.

FLASH!

Turning around, the officers all shouted, “Bicycle Repair Man, but how?”

Quickly Bicycle Repair Man charged the pile of Sherman parts.

Clink!
Screw!
Bend!
Inflate!
Alter Saddle!

“Why, he's mending it with his own hands!” commented Lieutenant Jones.

“See how he uses a spanner to tighten that nut!” added Lieutenant Cleese.

“Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?” asked Captain Palin.

Bicycle Repair Man replied, “Oh, you don't need to guv. It's all in a days work for... Bicycle Repair Man!”

“Our Hero”, swooned the collected officers.

Voiceover: “Yes! whenever tanks or other amored vehicles are broken, or menaced by national socialism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!”

Turn 1:

Canadian "right" flank.  Troop 'A' around the house, with the 4 Shermans of the command staff filling out along the road.  Off in the distance, all the Tigers and the Panzer III(n) are smoked in by direct fire. 

Despite one tank bogging in the orchard, Troop 'B' sweeps right.  This presents 9 Shermans assaulting 1 Tiger and its objective.

Close up of the German CIC Tiger being smoked.



Know your enemy.  I didn't, and now have 3 tanks under the template of the roving 1+ firepower Stuka's.  But luck favored the moron, and the Luftwaffe only managed to send in one plane, and it failed to hit.

Turn 2:

Troop 'A' approaches the 1st Tiger Platoon, and takes a chance. 



The chance pays off, as Troop 'A' scores 2 hits, 1 on each tank, and the Panzer III(n) blows up!  The Tiger responds in turn and nails a Sherman.

The Command tanks continue to charge the Tiger Company Commander.  They smoked it but due to poor positioning, the Canadians would have had to shoot over them selves to smoke the other Tiger.

Turn 3: 
The game is moving quickly, as only 35 minutes have passed.  The Canadians successfully rolled on the scattered reserves, bringing on Lieutenent Idle's Reconnaisance Troop of fast moving Stuarts.

The Reconnaisance Troop comes on the left side of the board, and double times it (32 inches) towards the second objective.  Lining up on a house and out of site of the Tiger on the right.

The Canadians ignore any potential air stike, and squeeze in for 4 flank shots on the German Company Commander, and pick him off.

The unsmoked Tiger made Troop 'A' (Along Via Giardini) pay for their "chance." The Tiger killed two Shermans, and the third Sherman failing two motivation checks, fled the field.  Troop 'B' (lower part) looks on, but is out of range to do anything.

The Germans called it here.  The Canadian Reconnaissance Troop was going to secure the second objective, while remaining out of sight of the only Tiger on the board.  The German's missed their reserve roll on turn 3, and on turn 4, the German reserves came in on the opposite side of the board where they needed to be.  The Luftwaffe failed to come in as well.  So we decided to play another game.  Stay tuned.

 

The Battle of 1000 Sheets :)

A Headless Body production.

Location: JK’s Bathroom
Players: Simba, Fearless, Trained, Tabby

   TP, Confident, Trained

Mission: Ambush
Game: Free Form


The Board:
6 by 6 feet. Pristine bathroom, with dual level shelving on the left flank, toilet center, and sink forward zone.

Deployment:
TP took high ground on the first shelf, left flank.  Concealed and Dug in.
Simba deployed centerline at the door.

Realizing that TP lacked any effective range weaponry, Simba doubletimed to the base of the shelving.

Simba passed her bog check and climbed the shelving, launching the assault, there was a hard, quickly- fought skirmish.  The slothlike TP didn’t have a chance and the ground was littered with shreds of plastic packaging and gobs of moist, gummy toilet tissue.  All of the twelve rolls of tissue attacked have survived, although the extensive damage to the outer 1000 sheets will necessitate extreme amputation of several layers.  Little of the outer packaging survived.  There is much cleaning to be done when we arrive home this evening.  We have learned from this horrific experience that going forward, we must store the now vulnerable remaining tissue in a safer kitty-resistant place; perhaps a large plastic bin away from this sad, paper-strewn battleground.